I had debated posting on this topic for a while now. This blog tends to be pretty simple in that 98% of my content is food related or pictures of my feet. I tend to shy away from hot topics and controversy to keep things breezy.
But the past few weeks 99% of my personal conversations have been about one thing that is not so sunshine and roses: the sexual assault allegations against Jameis Winston (FSUs quarterback). He was officially cleared of all charges and the case was closed last Thursday but leading up to the decision there were lots of rumors and accusations…mostly towards the female accuser.*
As an FSU fan, I wanted none of the allegations to be true. I wanted Jameis to be Famous Jameis that brought FSU out of years of craptastic seasons and into a National Championship in Pasadena. As a woman, I was pissed that people said things like “What did she expect inviting him back to her apartment?“. No means no, always. It means No at the bar. It means No after being invited inside to a girls bedroom.
I also heard the argument that “Girls don’t understand how mens’ minds work when they see someone dressed like that“. My response? I don’t give a shit.
Are guys so powerless that they just can’t control themselves when a girl walks by in a short skirt? How do they possibly contain themselves at the beach? Or, even more so, at a strip club? No one would ever excuse a man walking up to a girl sunbathing with her friends at the beach and forcing himself on her, so why is it accepted if a girl is dancing with her friends at a bar in a low cut top? Over the years SlutWalks have grown in popularity to protest against explaining/excusing rape by calling attention to a woman’s appearance. It is time to end the perpetuation that a victim can bring rape upon themselves.
Growing up I never really thought much about double standards and gender roles. I was told that I could do anything, be anything, and to shoot for the stars. And I believed (believe?) it. But as I get out ‘in the real world’ (wherever the hell that is), I constantly feel like I am living in No Doubt’s Just a Girl song.
Yesterday while waiting for the press conference and the decision about whether or not Jameis would be charged I came across the video below that was a perfect collection of what I’ve been feeling the past few weeks (years, even) and think its something everyone should take 2minutes to watch.
Let’s make a deal. Let’s stop bashing women. Let’s support one another. We’ve got enough people tearing us down, let’s build each other up.
**This post is focused on my thoughts on the topic and conversations I had leading up to the decision being made to not press charges on Winston, not this specific incident. Only the people in the room know exactly what happened that night and I will trust that the state attorney followed the proper steps and reached a well informed decision.
No questions today. Just share your thoughts.
…And don’t worry, I’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming with cheesy puns and running playlists soon.